By: Ed Creamer

Major corporations have decided “sensitivity training” is good for both employees and profits. But, what if Washington decided the same things was needed for our troops in a combat zone. Let’s listen in to see what such a session would have sound like.

We’re now in a bunker of a typical helicopter outfit. Staff Sergeant Hawkins has just returned from 40 hours of “Self Awareness Training” at the University of Nevada Las Vegas. The troops are seated.

“As you’re aware, the results of the Flight Crew Compatibility Testing are in. We’ve reached consensus on the issue of riding with people who aren’t quite sane. Each of you has now been assigned to fly with a more attuned companion. We felt a more harmonious relationship in the cockpit would lessen the tensions of combat.”

“At 1900 hours we’ll be joining the Crew Chiefs’ Focus Group on the Flight Line. There’s a certain amount of frustration being felt by them and the door gunners. Somehow they’ve lost the purpose of destroying the enemy and wish a better inner-self-explanation of “WHY”. We’re all asked to join in.”

“The Flight Surgeon has reported his department has exceeded its goal of “Wound Tending” for the month and asks we all do our part in refraining from being shot.”

“The SgtMaj. has formed a Rank Structure Empowerment Team. As the facilitator he’s instituting an awareness program whereby Pfc’s can better relate to Officers and still retain their identity. He’s asking we all get behind this effort.”

“The Chaplain has asked me to inform you there has been a greater than normal amount of prayers being sent upstairs whenever incoming rounds have been experienced in our camp. He requests we spread these out since HE is frequently busy doing other things and can’t always get to your prayer.”

“Ordnance has informed the Executive Officer higher headquarters has received the newer more friendly user 50 Cal rounds. Seems the EPA has requested an Environmental Impact Statement be dropped on the enemy every time we use them. So, be sure and pick up enough questionnaires to drop each time we fire them. This will help us determine the impact war is making on this area.”

“That’s the lecture for this week. All your record books will be updated to show this class. Be sure and attend your favorite club tonight and pick up a copy of the flier, “Conflict In The Work Place And It’s Affect On Combat”. Dismissed!”