By: Ed Creamer

I’ve never been able to explain to my wife why men must have something to read in the 4-holer. I believe it’s part of our genetic make-up. Now, reading can be anything from old Permanent Change of Station Orders, Playboy editorials or even recent letters of indebtedness. Why women don’t understand this beyond me.

Whenever I had the occasion to use the 4-holer in combat, I would try to get a copy of Stars & Stripes. That was the only newspaper that contained the scores about whether we were winning more the “hearts” or “minds” of the enemy. Now, I used to take a field manual to read with me. For some reason, reading about “How To Field Strip A 155 Howitzer” never was very interesting.

Stars & Stripes left a lot to be desired. They never seemed to print the really good articles. Like when a Corporal from Lostit, TX would teach his buddies how to cook in old mortar casings. He used to fix some really good meals until he forgot and used a shell that hadn’t been fired yet. They still haven’t found all of him.

That paper never did have a fashion page. Not that I was much into swish. Like I really wanted to see some Dude from Parts, MI modeling the latest on skivvies. Or, strolling down the runway in a poncho.

The travel section was lacking a lot also. Take that ad they ran from some travel agency up at Headquarters telling us all about the wonders and excitement of being on the front lines. Like I was about to give up my hard earned combat pay at my airfield to go and find out.

The Comic pages and Editorial pages were interchangeable. Then there was the entertainment section. It had some of the best reviews of 10 year old movies that I’ve ever read. Not to mention their coverage of battles that had been fought two years before.

But, I guess the main reason I read that particular paper was, the ink never seem to come off when you were finished in the four-holer. Sears catalogs weren’t nearly as good.