By: Ed Creamer

Our local newspaper reported recently on one of the last good deals available for anyone looking for a fun way to spend the day. It was an offer by the San Bernardino County Museum folks. For a measly $60 American per person you are provided a guided tour of one of the most active fault lines in the U.S., the San Andreas Fault. How does that sound for a good Stanley and Livingston adventure on a dull Saturday morning?

Look! Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t the seismologists recently report the fact all major faults in the land of perpetual sunshine are currently building up for what Red Foxx called the “BIG ONE”? Or, for those of you old enough to remember, this would be equivalent to an “E” ticket ride.

Did I miss something here? Is this going to be another L.A. trend for the beautiful people? I mean, this might open up additional offers that none of us with life insurance can afford not to miss. How about a trip down memory lane on the good old New Madrid Fault in Missouri? Maybe a reenactment of the Great Johnstown Flood complete with bathing suits and water wings provided.

I wonder if the tour is sponsored by one of the major east coast weight reduction clinics. Not that I have anything against life insurance companies mind you. In fact, my for better or worse has me insured for a ton of money. Well, maybe just a half ton. But, you don’t see me taking any San Andreas excursion for one even if she offers to pay my way.

As I think back on it, I remember taking a tour like that once before. Of course I was a little younger at the time. It was an all expense paid trip by Uncle Sugar to a tropical paradise called Vietnam. The trip came with three months of tropical rains followed by enough humidity to fill all the swimming pools in our little town. I’m not sure but I think there were some disadvantages to taking the trip. I’ll see if I can remember what they were.