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How locals in FW should talk to visitors

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  • How locals in FW should talk to visitors

    The following is being distributed around Cowtown to avoid confusion:

    Pahty: A place to go to drink and socialize - nothing to do with Mother Nature.

    ah: The letter between "q" & "s."

    ahnt: Sistah of your fathah or muthah.

    bah: Serves beah and hahd likkah: "The train to Noo Yok has a bah cah." bay

    ah: Ferocious brown or black animal.

    beah: Malt beverage.

    bahn: As in: "What yeah were you bahn in?"

    bzah: Strange, odd.

    Chahlz: The rivah.

    chowdah: Clams, milk, buttah.

    cahn: Stahchy veggie that comes on a cob.

    connah: Where streets intersect.

    fah: Not neah heah

    fahk: What you eat pahster with.

    fiah: Blaze

    Gahden: What they closed last yeah (also a place to plant flowahs.)

    hahbah: What they dumped tea into in 1773.

    Hahvid: Preppy college across the rivah.

    hahf-ahst: Done without regahd to detail.

    heah: Done with the eahs. "Listen my children, and you shall heah of the midnight ride of Paul Reveah."

    khakis: What you staht the cah with and keep on yawh key chain.

    nawtheastah: Stahm that blows in from the wottah.

    Noo Yok: Sinkhole 240 miles south of Tremont Street.

    owah: Sixty minutes.

    pahk: Cahn't do it in Hahvad Yahd. Not downtown, eithah.

    pahster: spaghetti, ziti, etc.

    pastah: The rectah of a parish, like St. Mahgrits.

    pichahs: They throw fastballs at Fenway.

    Rawjah: He *used to* throw the fastest fastballs at Fenway.....

    Reveah: He rode through Ahlington on a hoss shouting, "To Ahms!"

    shuah: Of course

    shot: Not tall.

    wof: A peeah, jutting into the hahbah.

    wottah: H2O

    yeah: A 365 day period.

  • #2
    Manly footwear

    My hat rack is full and I got more boots than I can wear in a week but those of you wishing to purchase a hat or what Merle Haggard referred to as "manly footwear" be aware of the following:

    Downtown Cowtown is a high-end store owned by the folks who own Fort Worth. The store is called Lusky's. The manager has her nose so high she's liable to catch El Nino winds and she was almost offended when I inquired about a discount for Popasmoke attendees. They're way too expensive anyway.

    At the Stockyards you will find Leddy's an old established shop but also pretty pricey.

    Across I30 from the Convention Center via Jennings Ave. is Justin Boot Factory Outlet and you can get a really good deal on hats, belts, buckles and manly footwear. I buy the ones with slight blemishes. If you keep dancin' nobody can tell where the defects are anyway.

    Around the area is a chain called Shepplers that always has good deals on boots.

    There is a very old Hat store just a block from the convention center - look for the orange sign that will fit you professionally.

    Summer is the time for straw, not felt hats. I recomment the ones made from Palm Leaves. Light, durable and you can soak them in tap water to re-crease.

    Down towards the Stockyards is a place called the Cross-Eyed Moose that is an eclectic Texana shop I recommend. Watch out for the moose.

    There are lots of shops down the brick street called Exchange that runs thru the Stockyards that sell westernwear but you're going to pay tourist prices.

    Don't forget to buy a "bully". Billy Bob's sells them as well as the shops around the Stockyards. They are dried bull scrotums that make great candy dishes. Don't get them around cold water, they tend to draw up (if you know what I mean).

    When dining in Cowtown,

    "Calf fries" means fried baby bulls nuts
    "Turkey fries" means fried turkey nuts
    "Lamb fries" means fried turkey nuts
    Frenchy should be concerned about "french fries"

    Comment


    • #3
      Hats and boots

      Folks
      The Resistol Hat factory in Garland has an outlet store on the grounds with some 100X beaver under glass and every size and color you can think of.
      The Nacona Boot factory is in Nacona, Tx. on Hwy 82 and is full of exotics. Bill, having all the time in the world, will be glad to take you to these places I on the otherhand will be the busyest guy at the hangar. I want get to stop till Mon. and let my shadow catch-up
      Roy
      The time, the inclination, and the where-with-all

      Comment


      • #4
        Communicating in Fort Worth

        aggravated
        used to describe everything from mild annoyance to dangerous, murderous rage. Usually pronounced "agger-vated."

        all swole up
        an alternative to aggravated, but sometimes carries connotations of being obstinate, proud and self-abosorbed, in addition to being aggravated.

        all choked up
        upset, overcome with emotions (other than aggravation). A person is usually "all choked up" when they are deeply moved by sadness or by the thoughtfulness of others.

        all worked up
        in a state of aggravation, arousal of some type, in a state of deeply offended pride, offended sensibilities, in a state of anxiety, etc. Agitated.

        Arbuckle
        a synonym for coffee, when the Arbuckle brand was virtually the only one available.

        ball usually means football.

        blinky adjective used to describe milk that has begun to sour.

        blue norther
        storm that comes up as a giant, blue-black cloud of cold air comes over the warm gulf air and "just about freezes us to death!" Rain and wind may accompany the black cloud.

        catty whompus used to describe something that doesn't fit properly or is out of line.

        clabber milk butter milk

        come hell or high water
        shows determination to proceed, regardless of the problems, obstacles, etc.
        conniptions to have conniptions is to get upset and raise a ruckus.

        crusty tough and/or bad tempered man, woman or horse.

        cut castrated, as in "We cut thirty head of calves yesterday."

        dad blame it, dad gum it, dag nab it
        euphamisms coined to allow expressive speech without swearing.

        dinner depending on the Dillo, this can be the noontime meal or the evening meal.

        eat up eaten up, destroyed, oxidized.

        fess up admit.

        fit to be tied really upset.

        fixins food; the rest of the meal, excluding the main dish.

        fixin' ta getting ready to do something.

        frog-strangler an extraordinary amount of rain.

        galoot an old cowboy term meaning "old rascal." It's generally meant affably.

        go ahead on "You go ahead, I'll catch up later."

        go to the house go in for dinner/supper, depending on the Dillo.

        gully-washer an extraordinary amount of rain.

        hissy fit This term was never actually defined, but I get the impression it's a state of extreme agitation and not a pretty thing to see.

        howdy How do you do? Pronounced, “Heidi”

        i'll swan used instead of "I swear."

        larrupin' a few fingers tastier than finger-lickin' good.

        lit out took off, started out, or absconded across some terrain.

        looker a pretty girl.

        maverick
        a loner, an independent cuss, wild. First used to describe cattle owned by Sam Maverick of Galveston Island. His cattle were "wild-like" and he'd swim them across West Bay and join up with the herd going north. When cattle broke the herd, the wranglers said, "That's one of Maverick's."

        norther a storm; not as bad as a blue norther.

        nu-uh no.

        ole cuss and old rascal (or galoot) who is tough and/or bad-tempered.

        over yonder a directional phrase meaning "over there."

        o'vehr used alternately with over yonder, usually accompanied with a chin point in the intended direction.

        over in through there, also: you go up in through there.
        Directional phrase; one I'm told foreigners (read: anybody except a Texan) have trouble understanding.

        place an individual's farm or ranch.

        plug common mutt horse.

        plug-ugly
        see above. This is definitely not a compliment, and should not be treated as such.

        pole-axed knocked down, smashed flat, with dramatic force.

        post oak wood that is hard and resistant to rot and can be used for fenceposts.

        ridin' high
        doin' aw'right; probably a reference to the quality of horse you are riding. If you're poor, you ride a burro (short) or a plug. If you're wealthy, you might ride a thoroughbred or Tennessee Walker; therefore, you're ridin' high.

        shoot an expletive (should be used with an exclamation point).

        slaunchways a piece of wood that is cut on an angle is cut slaunchways.

        sorry
        a particularly important Texas adjective meaning worthless, no-count, useless, bad. Enhanced inflection makes it more emphatic.

        squaddies (or is that quaddies?)

        cowboys. This was a very common term in the 19th century.

        supper
        Once again, depending on the Dillo, this can be either the noon or the evening meal.

        sweet milk milk that tastes good.

        t*rd-floater a very heavy downpour.

        taken to began, adapted, started liking.
        Use #l: He's taken to drinking."
        Use #2: She's taken to that new job of hers right off."

        talkin' to chewing out, as in "He sure gave that kid a good talkin' to" (prounounced "tawkin' too")

        tank pond

        the friendly creature 19th century term for whiskey.

        truck food

        tump to spill or dump

        walkin' in tall cotton

        doin' aw'right (see ridin' high)

        waller
        as far as I can tell, this is an extremely useful, if somewhat vague verb form or WALLOW of many uses. It's usually used as a past participle. "The wheel was wallered out." or "The Dillo List wallered down an gave that little nawthun lady a bunch of Texas Tawk."

        whole nuther thing soemthing else entirely

        whomperjawed
        when something is not fitting properly, e.g., "You'll never get that wine open, the corscrew is all whomperjawed!"

        wore out
        fatigued, exhausted; also sometimes used for "worn out" machinery, etc.

        yankee/damnyankee
        type of human who is at the bottom of many Texas methaphysical, moral and cultural paradigms. Damnyankee is thought to be objectively descriptive rather than profane, and it is comfortably accomodated in some social environments where "bad language" is otherwise controlled by inherent coercive prohibitions. (Note: Although it is often said that damnyankees do a pretty good job of compiling Texasisms.)

        "Out of the Mouths of Texans."
        A group of descriptive phrases, many of them similes. I've grouped them according to . . . well, you'll see.

        You don't want to hear a Texan say you're:
        • ugly as a mud fence
        • ugly as homemade sin
        • ugly as homemade soap
        • plug-ugly
        • all hat and no cattle
        • dumber than dirt
        • older than two trees
        • tighter than bark on a tree
        • like ugly on an ape
        • dumb as a box of rocks
        • crooked as a dog's hind leg
        • crooked as a barrel of snakes
        • dumb as a box of hammers
        • as handy as hip pockets on a hog (If a Texan says this, it's a compliment (honest!)
        • You're cute as a possum.
        • You're happy as a gopher in soft dirt.
        • You're tough as a boot.
        • You're quick as a hiccup.
        • You're wolverine mean.
        • You'll do to run the river with. (This means you're reliable.)
        • You're big enough to hunt bear (bar) with a switch. (You're very big.)
        • You just don't know what he might do. (This, I'm told is the safest reputation to have around potentially violent fellow Texans.)
        Emotional states in the state of Texas:
        • Happy as a gopher in soft dirt.
        • Like a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest. (I assume this would mean you're extremely frustrated, or perhaps out of place, or dumb as box of hammers.)
        • Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. (Nervous. Very, very nervous.)
        • Like a gnat in a hail storm. (Evokes quite a picture, doesn't it?)
        • Having a fit (or a hissy fit) and stepping in it. (Sounds like a tantrum of major proportions.)
        • Somebody who looks like he/she has been rode hard and put up wet. (A tired individual who looks somewhat the worse for wear.)
        Other Lonestar similes:
        • He beat him like a rented mule. (Ouch!)
        • Hidden in the basement like a crazy aunt.
        • Blacker than midnight under a skillet.
        • Fine as frog's hair.
        • Like the dogs was after him. (In a big hurry.)
        • Cold as a well digger's lunch pail. (This one is subject to some dispute, some Dillos claiming the cold object in question is actually part of the well digger's personal anatomy.)
        • Look at somebody/something like a calf looks at a new gate. (With either confusion or dismay, maybe?)
        Texas Sayings
        "Never ask a man if he's from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you on his own. If he ain't, no need to embarrass him."
        "The Lord never closes one door without opening another one."
        "Evil thoughts are like chickens--they come home to roost."
        "You can always tell a Texan, but you can't tell him much."
        "I want you to jump when I say frog."
        "Tend to your own knittin'/rat killin'." (Mind your own business!)
        "_________________ (fill in the blank) is good enough to make a rabbit spit in a bulldog's face." (This better be something awfully durned good!)
        "If you've done it, it ain't braggin'."
        "That's tellin' him how the cow ate the cabbage."
        "You done stopped preachin' and gone to meddlin'." (You're sticking your nose into my business, here, pal.)
        Pronunciation Be sure to get the pronunciation right:
        the "g" in the suffix "ing" is silent. Thus, "fixing to" becomes "fixin' to."
        chester drawers: that piece of furniture you put your socks in.
        nuther thing: another thing
        hairyew: a greeting used when one wants to discern the physical and emotional wellbeing of his/her companion.
        ah'mo: I am going to. E.g.: "Ah'mo get back to work."
        sure'nuff: (one word). Used as a superfluous question in place of "Really?" or "Is that right?" Also used as an adverb in sentences.
        rench: the process of laving with water, possibly to remove soap or shampoo. You can also "rench out" socks, if you've a mind to.
        warsh: the process one engages in before renching.
        One other item of pronuncuation involves a popular expletive that damnyankees usually give just one measly syllable. I have it on good authority, however, that Texans have been known to stretch the "S" word into two, and in some extreme cases, three syllables. (It should be noted that the added syllables involve a long "e" sound, coupled with a short "u".) I leave the rest to the reader's imagination.
        The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving
        Not overly-intelligent
        As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party
        (self-explanatory)
        Tighter than bark on a tree
        Not very generous
        Big hat, no cattle
        All talk and no action
        We've howdied but we ain't shook yet
        We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced
        He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow
        He has a pretty high opinion of himself
        She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth
        That woman can talk
        It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs
        We really could use a little rain around here
        Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly
        Appearances can be deceptive.
        This ain't my first rodeo
        I've been around awhile
        He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch
        Not the most handsome of men
        They ate supper before they said grace
        Living in sin
        Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope
        Stop arguing and do as you're told
        As full of wind as a corn-eating horse
        Rather prone to boasting
        You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make em biscuits
        You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is
        That's a fur piece.
        It'll take you awhile to get there
        Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon
        just do your part and I'll do mine
        Don't call him a cowboy, till you've seen him ride
        Don't judge a book by its cover
        She's been rode hard and put away wet
        refers to an unnattractive, hard-looking woman
        toad choker
        a heavy rain
        frog strangler
        also a heavy rain
        finer than frog hair
        use anywhere you might use the word "fine"
        rarer than hen's teeth
        pretty darn rare
        tump
        to spill, as in "I jes' tumped over mah beer"
        coke
        Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Big Red, etc.
        Some Texas Wisdom
        1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
        2. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
        3. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
        4. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
        5. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
        6. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
        7. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
        8. Don't squat with your spurs on.
        9. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep
        10. Always drink upstream from the herd.
        11. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
        12. There are 3 kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.

        Comment


        • #5
          How busy will Roy be....

          Busier'n a two-p*ckered goat.


          Garland is on the other side of the Metroplex. I don't go to Dallas for anything other'n my job.

          Resistol is a good basic hat, but Palm Leaf is your best bet. Felt is for another part of the year. We avoid wearing felt hats the same time civilized folks don't wear white.

          Ya'll get your own hats.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Roy Pitt
            Folks
            The Resistol Hat factory in Garland has an outlet store on the grounds with some 100X beaver under glass and every size and color you can think of.
            The Nacona Boot factory is in Nacona, Tx. on Hwy 82 and is full of exotics. Bill, having all the time in the world, will be glad to take you to these places I on the otherhand will be the busyest guy at the hangar. I want get to stop till Mon. and let my shadow catch-up
            Roy

            Nacona Boot Factory burned down last week

            Hooper

            Comment


            • #7
              How to talk to visitors in Ft. Worh

              All I have to say on that matter is how great everyone the same way is with a

              [SIZE=7]G'DAY MATE, HOW R YA DOING?[/SIZE]
              BTW thanks for having this Aussie at the reunion I loved it!!!!
              Aussie, over and out
              If you protest wars, remember that it is the blood of the soldiers who shed theirs for your right to protest them.
              Dulce et detcorum est pro patria mori
              (It is a beautiful and fitting thing to die for ones country.)

              Comment


              • #8
                Maybe you've been upsde down too long...

                You got the wrong person Aussie...Scroll on up the page and reply to <utopiatex> who originated the thread. I was just tell ing folks that the plant in Nokonos, TX burned down about a month ago.

                Comment

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