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By: Ed Creamer

Looks like I might have over estimated the money part. A pay of $78/ month doesn’t buy much beer in the Slop Chute or allow for much retirement savings. Regardless, as time marched on I decided I needed to take another look at how I was going to become independently wealthy. I mean, I needed to do something to make a few coins until I could make Commandant and some real scratch.

At first I thought about collecting aluminum cans from behind the O’Club. That is until someone reminded me that aluminum cans hadn’t been invented back in the day. Now I know why I had so many scars on my forehead from crushing those cans.

A few years later, as I was starting my way up the ladder toward picking up those four stars, I thought to myself, “Self, you’re not half bad looking. There’s good money to be made as a weekend evening escort for ladies looking for some company.” Besides, my duty section wasn’t due up for another 3 weeks. Well, I’ve since found out the IRS won’t let you deduct the cost of foo foo juice, hair wax and tux rental due to losses experienced in a failed escort business adventure. Hey! Nobody told me four letter words couldn’t be used in mixed company. No Shit man..

As time marched on and being no closer to my goal, it might be better if I just retired from the Corps and went to work in the civilian world. I mean, if I even made those stars I’d just have to break out the Brasso and polish them all the times. So, since I was a world traveler I decided to start up an Exotic Tour business for the adventurous souls. How was I to know they were going to invade Iraq just as my first tour group was headed there. Who Knew?

Well, it seems my retirement savings was doing about as well as our growing national debt. It wasn’t as if I didn’t have some good ideas. I’m pretty sure it was timing that did me in. Like the time I had it all on the pass line only to crap out. Or, always being just 5 numbers shy of hitting the lottery. But now, I’ve found something that is going to make my fortune. You see, aluminum cans are now selling for…………….